The single most popular question I get asked on a daily basis is “where do you get your confidence come from?”. The simplest answer is that it is a combination of nature and nurture. Growing up in a North African house being soft and sensitive is not an option because the jokes alone will have you feeling very insecure, let alone the supposed constructive criticism. After enough jokes and criticism, your will skin will begin to get thicker and what people say to or about you will begin to mean less and less as far has the effect it will have on you all be it in a jokey or serious manner. To this day, the negative things that people say regarding me personally, mean little to me. When people take things to heart I personally feel that mulling over those comments will have no positive outcome, so its best to ignore them and move on.
As I got older I learned to accept what I have been blessed with and to just simply get on with life and learn to work with my strengths and try to improve my weaknesses. As long as I kept doing that there would eventually be nothing to be said, and if anything was said it became increasingly more irrelevant because they eventually became insignificant lies that no longer affected my thoughts or feelings.
Growing up short and chubby didn’t help. I had my fair share of taunts and being the subject of many jokes. However, it eventually became insignificant as I heard the same things over again. When you realise that people say negative things it rarely has to do with what you look, feel and act like, and really comes from a self criticising place. People see themselves in that light which they shed on you. So in all honesty, you shouldn’t feel any negativity towards those people in your life. Instead, brush off their remarks and feel sorry for them.
So at this point in my life once achieved the glow up (when one’s appearance improves dramatically in a short period of time) there was nothing anyone could say to me that would really affect me. Losing weight, getting taller and playing basketball all helped. To be honest, sports can do a lot for a person. I started playing basketball when my uncle bought a hoop for me and my cousins to play in at my aunties house. After practising endlessly, daily and weekly, i.e. I eventually became quite good. The moment I joined the basketball team in year 8 and got man of the match in our first game, my confidence grew. I knew I was the best on the court and that helped me to overcome what people said off the court. Eventually my confidence grew in all aspects of my life and that was it. There was nothing that could be said that would affect me.
At this point in my life (I’m 19) there is genuinely nothing anyone can say to me that would cause me to second guess myself, my potential and my abilities. I will do what I need to myself, if need be!
If you’re reading this and feeling like you could do with a confidence boost. The key is to first fake it, act like you’re confident, talk like you’re confident and believe you are better than you are and eventually you will embody it.